He pasta way.
we cannoli do so much
his legacy will become a pizza history.
here today, gone tomato
How sad that he ran out of thyme.
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
One of the more heartfelt posts I’ve ever bread.
Ill attend the funeral so I can meatball his family
So, Im trending #SituationalComedy on Twitter and thought it would be a good idea to explain what it covers;
I use it to highlight anything funny caught on the spot, wether it be Public Signs that have been ammended making them hilarious, a funny situation someone finds themself in, comedy gold facebook fails and most importantly those pictures that get snapped quick but make you crease laughing each time you see them!
Ill include some examples so people get the idea
Happy Trending #SituationalComedy Folks :-)
Ok, so I settled down to watch some TV the other day and realised how shit kids have it these days!
Penny Crayon! ZAP! Funhouse! Absolutely amazing Kids TV!
Now its all talking blobs and aliens that cant speak proper english! Well I for one am devastated for the youth of today!
He-Man! Thundercats! Transformers! This is the type of stuff that made my generation awesome, kids playing for hours with just a bit of cloth for a cloak and some sticks as swords with not a Playstation or Gamebox insight (excluding the epic Megadrive in adolescence of course)
I have a theory (read in to this as much or as little as youd like) but with all the emphasis on shooting/killing/war games that are on offer to kids as young as 6, are we getting our younger generations prepared for something ‘we’ know is coming?
Ill tell you now, if kids where still playing with Pokemon cards and Skeletor action figures, I’d be willing to bet there would NOT be as much youth offending as there is now!
If kids where watching good TV like ‘The Queens Nose’ or ‘Sharkey and George’ instead of ruthlessly shooting middle easterns to gain ePeen points, testosterone would be lower and a fairly decent set of ideals would be instilled!
The change in TV can be highlighted in the biggest way with ‘Political Correctness’ everywhere!
Look back at some of the old ‘Rainbow’ episodes, in the late 80’s they were amazing, yet in 2010 theyre embarrassing and risky! Something has gone fundamentally wrong here!
If im asking for wool, im asking a BLACK sheep! If im giving/receiving presents on 25th of December its CHRISTMAS! And most of all I empty my bins using BLACK BINBAGS! There are no racist connotations at all and to suggest there is is fucking ludacris!
In summary, TVs changed! In a big way and NOT for the better! The worlds going wrong and the biggest ad easiest way to see it is on the idiotbox in everyones houses!
Thats the way I’m seeing it :-)
Today, im going to blog mostly about…Religious Propoganda!
Now I know what some of you are thinking, “Thats a bit heavy for a Monday afternoon” but in all honesty no its not, ReligAganda (how I will refer to it henceforth) is everywhere, all the time & examples of it are sometimes hilarious (Due to being massively misinformed) or equally, some are really worrying (Due to the aggressive way people follow their ‘Peaceful’ gods)
Religion has interested me for years, as a child I was pretty involved with catholicism, made my communion and various other religious ‘ceremonies’ making my catholic status fully fledged. I remember feeling important and accepted during this but when I reached the ever inquisitive teen years I decided to look more into it.
The examples of double standards I found were astonishing. The pope asking us to give to starving children when he sits on a solid gold throne and carries enough golden relics around to fund most of western civilisation and Vatican City being one of the most substantially wealthy cities on ratio, in the world!
Then why are we, the blue collar workers, the minimum wage earners being asked to stump up our hard earned cash when the people asking could quite easily with much less effect to themselves.
The next question I asked myself was “With this now apparent to me, how do they get away with it?!”
The answer was harrowing, they play on the most weak of our human emotions, they guilt us in such a way that makes US feel responsible for famine, AIDs and 3rd World Struggles by flaunting videos of malnourished african babies with a soundtrack that plucks your heart strings and VOILA we go to mush and give our money away!
Now dont get me wrong, generosity aside, where was the tear jerking adverts for me when I lost my job and struggled finding another? Where were the soft tear jerking adverts for all the millions of people loosing their homes due to the global financial crisis (Created by our own governments by the freaking by)
There were none, that type of starvation, hopelessness and loss arent considered to be of enough importance.
Now using this type of RelifAganda is fairly sly, but it does have a positive message. Not all of it does, alot of it just asks you to blindly follow an idea on the premiss that if you dont you will spend eternity in a fiery underbelly taking hot pokers to the knee!
This is where the magic happens, so many people have been sweet talked into following different religions due to being ‘scared, of what wil happen to them in the afterlife…. WAKE UP! The same thing will happen as the 24million years BEFORE you were born, you simply dont live, you are not alive, you are dead and only your legacy/memory does.
Most religions convey a sort of positive message, be nice to people, dont be a raper and dont murder your next door neighbours but some are just plain strange!
If someone offered me the chance
To cleanse my inner spirit to make it easier for an alien overlord to reclaim me to a world of love, peace and tranquillity by donating £25,000 I’d ask where their Striped Jumpers and Face masks where the robbing cunts!
And that, in a nutshell is how I see’s it :)
Hello again Everyone!
I know there is a recession on, believe me! but if you aren’t going to do anything about it, just SHUT UP!
Obviously there are people who PHYSICALLY cannot do much about it but there is an absolutely frightening amount of people i see who are expecting some fantastical cash windfall to land in their lap!
Lets face it people, the world doesn’t work like that very often! If you want to become successful and try to become recession proof then you have to do something about it yourself because if you don’t have sickeningly rich and generous parents or a relative in a similar position just about to pop her/his clogs then no bugger else will!
People who thing the world owes them a favour live in a fantasy world, even if the world did owe you something there are about a billion plus in the same boat and with welfare/benefits raising at an astronomical rate and our ‘awesome’ world governments falling further and further into debt, you are priority number 5 billion and falling!
I should probably mention at this point, in no way shape or form is this aimed at the destitute, people with disabilities or people who are genuinely unable to work. I truly feel for these people
Your governmet have let you down and in my very honest opinion, as priority number 1, they should be taken to task for it!
Thursday, 16 February 2012
The First of Many
How I See’s It – The First of Many
Ok, so if you know me and you are reading this, YES, I have finally decided to share my thoughts with the world!
I have debated for several months on how I wanted to approach this blog, What did I want it to be? Who did I want reading it? And finally What did I hope to achieve as a result of it?
As we all know, the World Wide Web is the largest and most vastly received platform in the world, so where better to set up my soap box!
So with all the time I spent deliberating on the angle I wanted to run with, I finally decided on utilizing my biggest strength….The ability to say whatever I want with a complete disregard for the worries of social conformity!
And so with the angle decided all I needed now was a push in the right direction, which came hook line and sinker from my amazing girlfriend on Valentine’s Day!
With the exchange of gifts well under way, I unwrapped a Personalised book with a handwritten message in the back encouraging me to get a move on!
So, on that incredibly well thought out and inspiring bombshell I got cracking!
I thought I’d start with a bit of insight into what to expect from my blogs:
· I have ALOT to say (some say too much, but I say to them “SILENCE!”) so it will be updated regularly.
· Being ‘Brutally Blunt’ I’m told is a trait of mine, so you can certainly expect that trend to continue
· All of the views I express are my own, they do not ‘Intend’ to directly offend anyone but “Whadda ya say, Whadda ya know uh” you can’t please everybody :P
The things you will typically see me blogging about:
1. I am an (Entirely) Self Confessed “One of the greatest story tellers of our generation” and said stories usually stem from the hilarity I encounter daily. I come from a place called Birkenhead, Merseyside in the UK (Anyone in the know can confirm this as being an absolute breeding ground for comedy and repulsion equally) so these stories are never in short supply!
2. I LITERALLY cannot suffer fools or even entertain the prospect of doing so. I am from a working class family, raised on a working class income and attended working class schools. I performed well in some subjects, not so well in others. But INSPITE of the spoon in BabySte’s mouth being made of polished tin, I still know the difference between right and wrong, how to participate in intelligent conversations and most importantly of all have goals in my life I want to achieve!
People without hopes and aspirations, people without the drive to better their lives and the lives of those they affect and people who think the world owes them a favour and are a drain on our society and will always be unless they are encouraged and provided with the tools to succeed (#hottopic)
3. I keep WELL up to date with the goings on in the UK and the world over. Like many people around the world I see it as my job to keep myself as best informed as possible with what is going on in the world I currently reside in. If you keep your head in the sand for too long it’ll end up choking you!
So, for those that haven’t already got the gist, some things annoy me, some things annoy me more than others and some things annoy me in SO many ways! Some severely, some not so much but when they do, rest assured this blog will definitely be my outlet.
Being as opinionated as I am *sometimes* has its shortfalls. I literally have an opinion on everything (“Me Ste, Me Think Lots”) and this blog, in all its glory is my OFFICIAL way of sharing them with the world!
Ok, so now my proverbial cards are on the fictional table, I’ll take this opportunity to thank you for reading my first blog hope it sounds as intriguing to you as it did in my head whilst writing it.
Follow me on Twitter: @stenightingall
Time to blow this Popsicle stand but I look forward to you all reading and sharing my future pieces of bloggable stardust!
Peace! (Which CAN be used interjectionally as a greeting, request or farewell, for all the grammar Nazis out there?)